


Lavender

by shellaura



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 13:42:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shellaura/pseuds/shellaura
Summary: "We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin."- André BerthiaumeThe first season of Manuel and Mats playing at the same club.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j_eronimo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/j_eronimo/gifts).



> You know the drill: this is a fictional account. I get inspired by real events and my stories incorporate them, seek possible explanations, but ultimately I do not claim that anything I write about has actually happened.

 

_March 26th, 2017_

 

This time there was no text. No call, no WhatsApp message, no email. This time Mats was not going to stop by after his return to talk to him in person. This time it had finally sunk in. It was over.

 

To Manuel’s surprise, not even the coach questioned his pulling out of the German squad for the games against England and Azerbaijan because of calf problems. One was a friendly and the other a World Cup qualifier against an unevenly matched opponent, so Manuel wasn’t needed in either game, but surely Joachim Löw had to expect better from his captain. Manu's calves did feel tight, he wasn’t lying about that. But even if he wasn’t feeling well enough to play, if he wanted to sit a game out to cure little ailments, if he needed a break, hell, even if he was just in a generous mood and wanted to let other goalkeepers try their hand at internationals, he could have still come along for the ride. The breaks were about team building as much as anything else. Like field trips in school the traveling encouraged bonding. With Lukas Podolski, the last of the heroes of 2006, saying his goodbye at the fixture against England and all the young, new faces pouring into the squad, a team captain had a sort of obligation to keep an overview and help facilitate the changeover. 

Manuel had never wanted to be like Bastian Schweinsteiger, taking the national team for granted and only ever busting his ass at tournaments. Yet here he was, having withdrawn from two out of two international breaks in the past five months. The last time Manuel had worn the captain’s armband and the eagle on his chest, George Michael had still been alive and people had thought the United States were going to get their first female president.

Now instead of leading his team onto the pitch of the Tofiq Bahramov Stadium, he was lying in a hotel bed in Austria, trying to watch the game but he couldn’t focus. His thoughts kept bouncing back to a video of him that had been leaked two days ago. Upon receiving notice of the existence of the tape last week, Manuel’s agent had moved mountains to redirect the press’ attention elsewhere and fed them with speculative news about his supposed wedding. It had worked, only _Die Bunte_ had published the video on their website and even this had occurred quietly, with an exculpating narration that used the words “peck” and “bromance” instead of instigating the full-blown investigation into his sexuality he had expected.

Manuel knew he'd dodged a bullet and immediately increased his agent’s salary. He also knew that Mats had seen the video and while anyone else might dismiss the depicted face nuzzle as friendly, drunk folly, Hummels would not be fooled. He’d get the hint, for good this time. They were done. Manuel would finally be able to take back control over his life. In a way the video had helped him get out of the affair almost gallantly, without any of the dreaded conversations.

So why wasn’t he relieved? Why did he feel so restless?

He muted the television and started skimming through the sports magazines on his nightstand. An interview with Gianluigi Buffon caught his eye when he saw his own name mentioned in the headline. The Italian goalkeeper complimented Neuer and the achievements of the German team but those weren’t the words that stayed with Manuel when he put the _Kicker_ down.  
  
' _A keeper has to be a masochist otherwise he wouldn’t choose this position._ '

He mulled over that sentence. It had never occurred to him to think of himself as someone who enjoyed pain or humiliation even though his job basically consisted of other people shooting balls at him and being the easiest target to pin a defeat on. As a goalkeeper you had to be able to take a beating, that was true, but did that really indicate a self-destructive streak? Was that what brought him here in the first place?

“Bullshit!” Manuel finally mumbled, dismissing the article and stood up to raid the minibar, starting celebrations into his 31st birthday early.


End file.
